


Fuck, I'm Lonely

by orphan_account



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Camming, Dom Brian, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, Sub Drop, Sub Jae, Subspace, camboy jae, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-02 11:02:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20723681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sam gave him a look. “Well, maybe you need to hook up with someone, get laid. You’re tense. You’re not so tense after the weekend. What, are you doing porn or something instead?” He jokes, wiggling his eyebrows.Or, Jae was secretly a camboy and had a secret viewer who began to comment.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAA camboy j ftw... anyway i feel like this is one of my Worst works and idk where im gonna go with the second part but .. hope u guys like this so far
> 
> also ignore the TERRIBLE commenter usernames i had zero ideas 😭
> 
> title from lauv's fuck i'm lonely bc jae likes that song, i feel that way, and jae in this feels that way TT_TT

There was a hobby that Jae had, which was kept hidden from everybody he knew.

It was camming. He was a camboy.

And it’s not like he was embarrassed about it, or felt like it’d be the end of the world. Okay, well, part of him did. But the other part of him didn't want to tell any of his friends because he’s scared they’d leave him.

He’s scared they’d find him disgusting, whore like, for doing porn for money. There’s  _ so _ many other ways he could make money, but he enjoys camming. He gets to feel sexy and orgasm, all while getting paid to. It was a triple win for Jae.

Sometimes, he felt guilty for keeping this secret from everyone. He’d often cancel weekend or night plans because of his hobby slash part time job. His friends would get pissed off at him for always canceling, but he always came up with good enough reasons not to show up.

Like, tonight for example.

His friends wanted to go to a frat party. He wasn't sure why because they all absolutely despised the frat boys, but apparently the parties were quote on quote “ _ hella lit _ ” from his friend Matthew, so he just shrugged and let his friends have fun.

He told them he had to study for an upcoming test. Which, was true. He did have to study, but that doesn't mean he’s doing it the  _ whole  _ time his friends are gone. 

Tonight, he wanted to go live and show his viewers what he bought, and maybe test it out with them.

Jae had just bought himself a few new toys with the money he’s earned. A pink, bullet vibe, a cock-ring (a suggestion from his viewers since he, well, often came prematurely because he always felt so good), and finally, a new dildo. Nothing fancy, just something a little bigger to treat himself. And of course, he got more lube, but that wasn't as exciting as the other things he purchased.

The buzz of knowing he’s going to be camming tonight gives him so much adrenaline, he’s basically jittering in his seat waiting for the last bell to go off.

He was lucky his last class was late afternoon, meaning he could relax and stretch himself out for his show tonight.

The bell finally rang it’s ring, and he rushed out of the classroom. His friend, Sammy, had noticed, and laughed at him.

“Whoa there, Jae! You excited to study tonight?” He laughed, making Jae stop and blush a bit.

“Um,” He mumbled. “Yeah! Yeah, I am. It’s a big test, and I wanna be able to pass it.” He shrugged, hoping Sam believed him.

Luckily, he did, but there was a skeptical look on Sam’s face. “You’re such a nerd, Jae. You’re always canceling plans to go study. You should come party with us tonight!” 

Jae shook his head, which made Sam frown. “Man, you’re so secretive sometimes. I swear you’re like, hooking up with a chick, or multiple, I don’t know, the times we go party. You know it’s okay, right? We all–”

“I’m not hooking up with anybody!” He yelled, embarrassed and wanting Sam to  _ just stop talking.  _ His outburst caused a few weird stares, and he held onto his bookbag straps and blushed darker.

Sam gave him a look. “Well, maybe you  _ need _ to hook up with someone, get laid. You’re tense. You’re not so tense after the weekend. What, are you doing porn or something instead?” He jokes, wiggling his eyebrows.

Jae panicked. “What, no! Why would you think that?” Sammy just laughed more at his panicked expression.

“Dude, chill! I was just playing. Even if you did, I wouldn't care. You’re cute and sexy at the same time, girls,  _ and  _ guys would dig that.” Said Sam with a wink. 

The older rolled his eyes. “Shut up. I don’t do porn. I’m going home to study.” Jae grumbled, walking away with a pout on his face and his heart beating out of his chest.

He heard Sam snort behind him, and then the said man yelled, “Okay! Have fun studying, you big nerd!”

“Fuck you!” He yelled back. 

“When and where, baby?” Sam yelled back, jokingly. He walked faster as people began to stare.

Jae just shook his head and sighed to himself as he walked back to his dorm. He wanted to get home already and try out his new toys with his viewers. 

The walk to his dorm was shorter than he expected, or maybe he was just in his mind too much, he wasn't sure. He was glad he did get home when he did, so he could quickly finish his homework, and then try out his new toys.

The tall man was  _ so _ excited to try the bullet vibe and cockring, to deny himself of an orgasm as he’s overwhelmed until his  _ viewers _ decide if he was good enough to cum.

Though he was caught up on his work, he found himself stumped on his essay, too destracted by the thoughts of how good he’s gonna feel when camming and trying out his newly bought toys. 

“It can wait,” He muttered to himself. He closed his book and school laptop, and placed them back into his bookbag. He stretched his arms arching high, making his sweater lift a bit off of his tummy.

He glanced at himself in the mirror, his cheeks were slightly flushed in knowing what he's going to do soon. Shaking his head, Jae stripped as he walked into the bathroom.

Luxury of having a dorm to yourself, is you can get naked and leave your clothes all over the place without anyone walking in or complaining.

He walked into the bathroom, washed his face, and then showered; the vanilla body wash soft against his skin. After he finished, his hair smelled of strawberries and skin of vanilla, and it made him feel soft and handsome.

After his shower, he picked up the clothes he’d previously slipped off and threw them into his dirty clothes hamper.

Even though he had the luxury of stripping whenever he wanted and leaving his clothes all over the place, didn't mean Jae wanted to keep his place messy.

He decided to clean up his room a tad while he was at it, since it  _ was  _ a little messy. He made his bed after cleaning the space before grabbing the lube from his bag of new purchases. He then laid onto the bed, and took a deep breath to help himself relax.

The tall man started by rubbing up and down his body feather light touches, making his breath hitch and back arch. He’s  _ so  _ sensitive, he couldn't imagine someone else doing this to him. 

His rands ran up his tummy to his chest, and he pinched his nipples. He also had sensitive nipples. This action made him whimper and arch with want. Maybe he should invest in nipple clamps.

Jae’s cock began to swell, throbbing each time he pinched and twisted his own nipples. He decided he to just stroke himself to full hardness, before he reached for his cock ring and slid it onto himself.

He whined, before putting a pair of soft, grey Nike shorts on. He hissed when the soft, but rough, fabric ran against his hardness, but continued to slide the article of clothing up his thighs and over his hips. 

When he felt like he was ready, he set up his camera and laptop, making sure everything looked fine before clicking the ‘ _ go live _ ’ button. He waved before giving the viewers a few moments to show up.

“Hi!” He giggled softly, feeling giddy and nervous. He always felt like this when going live, but he trived off the feeling. He started to read the comments, seeing as many people noticed his hardness.

“Do you notice that I’m hard?” He teased himself and the viewers by stoking himself against his shorts, which made his hips buck and a whine escape from his throat. His large hand fit over the bulge. 

“I got new toys today, so I stretched myself beforehand.” He explained. He began to slide his shorts off, and his cock bobbled between his legs. He noticed his comments went crazy at the sight of the cockring.

Jae smiled. “One of the toys I got was a cockring! I can only cum when you guys decide I was good enough to. Don’t be  _ too _ mean.” He pouted.

He then pulled out his new dildo in front of the camera, and showed it off. “Do you guys like it?” He asked. The dildo was about ten inches, and thick in girth. It was a little bigger than Jae was used to, but couldn't he spoil himself?

“I wanted to spoil myself, and by the comments, you guys like it! Should I start now?” He gave a sly smile to the camera, and his viewers begged him to start.

Jae chuckled to himself, “Okay, okay! I’m gonna start. I also got new lube, but that’s not as nice as my new toys.” He explained as he lubed up the dildo with the slick lube. It made an obscene noise, and the flush on his cheeks grew darker. 

He spread his legs so the audience could see him better, and then began to slowly insert the dildo inside of himself as his other hand gripped the sheets. 

He inhaled and whined, shutting his eyes as he did so. It hurt a little. A good hurt, though, the one he thrived off of. He began to push it in deeper and deeper, making cute little whining noises as he did so.

Soon, he hit his prostate, which made him cry aloud. “ _ Fuck. _ ” He whined. The dildo was now all the way inside him, and anytime he moved he felt it push another part of his sensitive walls.

“I feel so full.” Jae told his viewers, his voice whiny and cheeks now a dark red. “Should I play with myself? Or cockwarm it?” He asked, and began to read some of the comments.

** _user121: you’re so beautiful _ **

** _kinky4657: ofc you can play with yourself, baby. have some fun_ **

“Don’t call me beautiful,” He whined. “It makes me blush.” Jae pouted. So what he had a praise kink, doesn’t mean everyone has to praise him.

However, one comment caught his eye, it somehow looked familiar.

** _bkang: i bet you cockwarm nice, love, but i want you to fuck yourself with your new toy. and you’re so handsome, why can’t we tell you that? ;(_ **

Jae blushed. He felt like he knew who this was, but it was on the tip of his tongue. His words were so  _ dirty _ , Jae wanted him to physically be here to whisper them into his ear.

“I’m gonna fuck myself with my new toy,” Jae said, beginning to do as he said. “But, I still have another new toy I wanna show you guys.” He pouted, but the pout turned into a gasp when Jae hit his prostate again.

“Fuck,” He whined. He couldn't reach inside of himself like he wished. “I wish someone was h-here to do this for me, to go deep, a-and fast.” He stuttered over his words as he fucked himself. He noticed the same person from earlier comment again.

** _bkang: oh, baby boy. you look so cute trying so hard to fuck yourself with your new toy :( i wish i was there to help you, hear your cute little whimpers in person. go a little bit harder for me? i know you can do it. be a good boy._ **

Jae sobbed at this person’s words, though he loved camming, he more often than not wished someone was here to do those things to him. He wanted to be someone’s good boy.

He began to stroke his cock to the pace he was fucking himself, but a lot of the comments told him to quit touching himself. He waited for that person to tell him what to do.

** _bkang: fuck, baby. you’re so good for me, for your viewers. you’re doing everything i ask you, like a good boy. you’re so cute when you sob out of pleasure, all fucked out :( i wish i could kiss your tears away, and stroke that cute cock myself. play and tease with your head, baby. _ **

There he was. Jae could barely read the comment due to the tears clouding his vision, but  _ fuck _ if it didn't make his cock swell up. He began to play with his head, his hips bucking as he toyed with his slit. He still felt like he knew who this was, the ‘kang’ in the name looking so familiar.

_ Who did he know that had the last name of Kang? _

He wasn't sure. His mind was too far gone with pleasure, he was  _ so _ close to the edge, but his cockring was preventing him from cumming.

“I’m so close,” Jae sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut as he stroked his cock. He stopped fucking himself, only pushing it deeper at times to press against his sweet spot. “I wanted–wanted to show you guys my other new toy, but I wanna  _ cum.”  _ He whined. 

He stared into the camera, knowing now dirty, messy, and fucked out he looked. His eyes were hazy, his hair sticking to his forehead due to sweat. His cheeks were wet and red with tears, the blush down to his chest now. 

“Can I  _ please _ cum? Please?” He begged his viewers. He held onto his cock, thinking it’d hold off his orgasm even though he was wearing a cockring. The comments began to flood in.

** _bigdaddy383: go ahead, baby_ **

** _kinky4657: i think you could hold off longer._ **

** _asdfghjkl: cum for us beautiful:(_ **

** _kwpsj: you can come baby_ **

He waited for the one person to comment.

** _bkang: you can cum, beautiful._ **

All the viewer had said was that he could cum ( _ and that he was beautiful, but he lied to himself about how it  _ ** _didn’t_ ** _ affect him) _ , and that’s all the permission Jae needed. He took off his cockring, and stroked himself fast, fucking himself with his other hand. His hips rocked as he did so, his whines and cries growing  _ louder _ and  _ louder _ until his orgasm crashed over him.

He gasped, and let go of himself, both hands holding onto this sheets. His dick pulsated as he came, white stripes coating his bedsheets, and some even getting onto his tummy. He shook and sobbed as he climaxed, all his energy spurting up until he was done.

Jae slumped down and breathed loudly, sweaty and sticky. Fuck. He was so tired and worn out, that orgasm took a lot out of him. He also felt himself on the edge of subspace, which slightly scared him because he had no one to bring him down.

He slowly began to calm down, absentmindedly reading the comments. Most of them were praise, some wanted him to go again. A lot of people left, because all they came to see was Jae orgasm and that was it, they didn't stay to watch him clean himself up.

He was so far gone and tired he didn't realize he still had the dildo inside of him until  _ bkang  _ commented again. He swear he knew who that was.

** _bkang: oh my god ;( baby boy. you did so well for us, so well for me. you looked so beautiful and fucked out when you came, you made me cum as well. you’re so beautiful. i know it took a lot out of you, but clean up, okay? tell us goodbye and end the broadcast and clean yourself up. treat yourself to a nice bath._ **

He listened to everything this person said, except for treating himself to a nice bath. He ended the broadcast with shaky hands and a small goodbye, before lazily cleaning himself up with a rag. He put the lube and toys onto his nightstand before grabbing a random pair of boxers and sliding them up his legs.

Jae then put on a pair of sweatpants, a sweater, and changed his sheets before slumping onto the bed. He was still slightly fuzzy and in subspace, and  _ fuck _ did he just want to be taken care of. 

He tried to think of who bkang could be. Kang. Kang. His mind was so fuzzy, he couldn't think straight. Not that he thought straight most of the time  _ anyway _ , if you know what I mean.

He held onto his pillow and cried, sniffling and his chest aching with sadness. He was experiencing a sub drop. Then, in the middle of thinking and sobbing, he know who bkang was.

_ Brian Kang.  _

Brian was a mutual friend of Sammy and Matthew, and was in his English class. He wouldn't lie and say he  _ didn't  _ find him attractive, but he didn't know how far his attraction went until now. He never would have thought  _ the _ Brian Kang was into guys, nonetheless watch him cam.

And  _ fuck,  _ he thought.  _ I wish Brian was here _ . His words were so dirty yet dominant, and all he wanted was Brian to be here to take him down from subspace and give him the bath he wished Jae would have treated himself to.

Maybe, Brian could even cam with him, help him climax and drift into subspace, then bring him back. And instead of feeling sad and lonely after his stream, he’d feel happy and wanted.

Maybe his mind was just clouded with want and delusions, and that none of that would ever happen. Jae felt his eyes begin to droop, and with the thoughts and wants of Brian on his mind, he drifted to sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian watched Jae cam that night, like he did on most–all–Friday nights. Tonight, though, he decided to start leaving comments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO!!!! im gonna try to turn this into a fic :D not sure how long nor how many chapters it will have, but hopefully i'll finish it and it'll make sense bc i have 2 unfinished chaptered fics and a goal im setting for myself is to complete this one before the end of this year!
> 
> each chapter will be in two, one being in jae's, the other brian's. so, this one is similar to the first but in brian's pov.
> 
> i'm going to try to keep updates about once or twice a week, wish me luck that i stick with it 🥺
> 
> idk why but i dont have much confidence in this fic and i seriously feel like it's awful and doesn't make sense, so thank you for leaving so many comments on the first chapter! pls continue to do that!

Brian has a secret.

He watched Jae cam every time he went live. 

Yes, Jae, the boy from his English class. The tall, lanky one with the oversized sweaters and skinny jeans. The one who stuttered over his words at times, and was as cocky as could be during others. The one Younghyun has been crushing on since the start of the semester.

And yes, he was aware Jae streamed on a dominantly  _ gay _ site, despite him being straight. You gotta get that coin someway or another, even if it means what Brian watched Jae do in his spare time.

Sometimes he felt guilty for watching him, because he knew Jae wanted to keep it a secret and was mostly doing it for money. But  _ fuck _ , he always looked so cute and hot at the same time, not failing to get Brian off everytime he went live.

Sometimes, he’d cancel his plans just to watch Jae. Well, more like every single time. He was rarely free these days, his time being preoccupied with school and watching Jae cam. 

His friends were going to a frat party tonight, and he’s planning to ditch, just like he does every time Jae planned to go live. 

He’ll just give them the excuse that he has to work on a last minute assignment. Which, wasn't a  _ total  _ lie, considering Younghyun often let his work pile up until the last minute. He allowed his friends to call him a nerd, it didn't affect him. 

_ Especially  _ because he knew they’d be calling him the opposite of that if they knew what he’d really be spending most of tonight doing. 

Jae had promised he’d be doing something special this week, and Brian didn't care what it was as long as Jae went live, but it still left an excitement inside of him. 

Brian sighed to himself as he looked over to the clock. His last class seemed to be taking  _ for fucking ever.  _ He just wanted to go home, nap, shower, watch his favorite camboy, then sleep again. And attempt to finish his project that was due on Monday, the one he told his friends he’d be working on in excuse to ditch the party.

After what seemed like ages, the bell finally rang, and he quickly packed up and left the room, running into his friend Sammy along the way.

“Whoa there, Brian! Where you rushing off to?” He asked, a smirk plastered on his lips. Brian rolled his eyes.

“I’m just ready to go home, to sleep and work on my project for English.” He told Sam. It wasn't a lie, but wasn't exactly the truth, either. And Sam seemed to see right through him.

“Huh. Jae used that same excuse today too. He denied hooking up with anyone, but he always looks like he got laid, or at least orgasmed hella hard he’s relaxed on Monday. He also denied doing porn or camming.  _ You  _ always look like that too.” Sam pushed his finger into Brian’s chest.

“So, what, are you two  _ finally _ hooking up? I told you if you’d just talk to him you’d get somewhere. How is he in bed, by the way? I bet he’s–” Sam was interrupted by Brian pushing him out of the way.

“We are  _ not _ hooking up, you know I haven't even talked to him, yet. Plus, he’s not even gay, or bi, or whatever. He’s straight.” Younghyun scoffed. It was Sam’s turn to roll eyes.

“Well how should I know?” Sam questioned. “You and Jae  _ both _ are always ditching Friday night plans. I can only put two and two together, so, what, are you watching him cam or something?” He teased.

Younghyun just rolled his eyes. “I am not. Sometimes I just don't feel like partying, I like sleeping and watching Netflix all night. Anyway, Jae does  _ not _ cam. Plus, how would I know? Just because I’m crushing on him doesn't mean I’m gonna stalk him and all that.” He argued, hoping his face wasn't red.

Sammy just looked at him like he knew the truth. “I bet you’d know. Anyway, I’m just picking with ya, dude. Have fun on that English project.” He winked and patted Brian’s shoulder before walking off.

Younghyun was left standing speechless in the hallway, before he came back to life and walked his way to his dorm.

He sighed and threw his bookbag onto the ground before rubbing his face and groaning. “ _ Fuck.”  _ He really did not want to work on that stupid assignment. He can do it later, especially after he’s watched Jae.

Instead, he slid off his shoes and plopped down onto his bed, pulling up Netflix onto the tv. Jae wouldn't be live until a few hours from now, so he had time to laze around before he showered and planned to watch Jae. Which, is exactly what Brian did.

This is one of the times he was glad he had a dorm to himself. He can watch Netflix  _ or _ porn without anyone bothering him. He could also leave his room a mess without his mother scolding him to clean it up. 

It was nice. 

As Younghyun watched his tv, though, he couldn't stop thinking about Jae and his cams. He’s been watching for a few months now, but he’s never commented before. Maybe tonight was the night he’d start to.

He soon grew bored of watching Netflix, so he switched his tv off and stretched. His stomach grumbled, so he made a quick dinner before getting into the shower.

As he showered, he couldn't help but wonder what type of body wash Jae uses. He seems so soft, and by walking past him in the halls and in class, he notices he has a  _ fruity _ smell to him. As he thought about it, blood rushed to his dick.

Fuck. 

Normally when he’d get a hardon while in the shower, he’d quickly jack himself off. Tonight, however, he decided to not touch himself and wait until Jae went live, in hopes it would make his orgasm more intense. 

He shook his head and quickly finished his shower, not bothering to change into clothes, but leave his towel hanging around his waist.

Younghyun plugged in his phone before getting out his laptop. He went to the website Jae cammed on, before logging into his account.

**username: bkang**

**password: ************

Success!

When he signed on, it seems he was right on time, as Jae had just went live a few seconds ago. He clicked it, and felt his heart beat faster in his chest.

“Hi!” Jae’s giggles echoed out of his speakers as he waved to the camera. Fuck, he forgot his earbuds. He quickly plugged them in before taking in how Jae looked at the moment.

He was only in a pair of grey Nike shorts, his hard-on obvious. His milky white thighs were on display, and  _ fucking shit, _ the things he wanted to do them. 

Brian’s dick pulsed under his towel.

Jae’s lithe chest was also on display, his nipples growing hard as he waited for more viewers to show up. 

“Do you notice that I’m hard?” Jae asked in a teasing manner.  _ Yes, _ Brian thought as Jae stroked himself over his gym shorts.  _ I notice that you’re hard and all I want to do is– _

His thoughts were interrupted as Jae began to speak again. “–So I stretched myself before hand.” He hadn't caught what Jae said before, but  _ fuuuuck _ the thought of Jae stretching himself made Brian’s dick spit out precum.

“One of the toys I got was a cockring!” Jae told the camera. Ah, so he got new toys. Maybe that’s why he stretched himself before hand.

“I can only cum when you guys decide I was good enough to. Don’t be  _ too _ mean.” Jae pouted on his screen.  _ Oh my fucking god.  _ Younghyun thought. He couldn't even  _ imagine _ actually controlling Jae’s orgasm, watching him cry and squirm as he begged for release; it’d make him cum way too early.

Jae then showed about a ten inch dildo onto the screen after slipping on the cockring. Brian imagined Jae whimpering and whining as he’d take it, gasping when  _ Brian _ pushed it up against his prostate. He squeezed his dick through the towel.

“I wanted to spoil myself, and by the comments, you guys like it! Should I start now?” Jae asked, a filthy, teasing smile painting his lips that Brian wanted to kiss away. 

“Please.” Younghyun whispered to himself, his head dropping to the pillow. He quickly went back to watching his screen, not wanting to miss anything Jae was about to do.

Jae chuckled as he read the comments. “Okay, okay! I’m gonna start. I also got new lube, but that’s not as nice as my new toys.” Brian watched him as he lubed up the dildo with the said lube. It made an obscene noise, and he noticed flush on Jae’s cheeks grew darker, despite the camera quality. 

He watched intensely as Jae began spread his legs, the legs he wanted to paint with hickeys and bite until it left Jae squirming. The boy on his screen began to insert the toy into himself, a whine escaping his throat. His face was painted in slight pain, and Brian wanted to kiss his lips to distract him from the slight pain.

“ _ Fuck _ .” Jae whimpered into his earbuds as he filled himself up to the brim. “I feel so full.” Brian then finally removed the towel from his waist, throwing it onto the ground and not caring where it went as he slowly began to stroke himself.

Jae then asked his viewers whether he should begin to fuck himself with the dildo, or cockwarm it. He debated whether he should start to comment now.

The camboy began to read some comments, whining about how not to call him beautiful, but that’s all Brian wanted to do: praise him until he was whining and crying with want.

Now was the time he decided to comment, which was hard because he had to keep back typing as he made errors. It wasn't easy to type while you’re off the walls horny and watching your crush slash classmate cam,  _ okay? _

** _bkang: i bet you cockwarm nice, love, but i want you to fuck yourself with your new toy. and you’re so handsome, why can’t we tell you that? ;(_ **

He held his breath as he clicked enter. He wasn't sure if Jae would even see his comment, but his blush grew darker and a part of him hoped he’s seen it.

“I’m gonna fuck myself with my new toy,” Jae said, beginning to do as he said. Brian blushed. Maybe Jae really  _ did _ read his comment.

“But, I still have another new toy I wanna show you guys.” Jae pouted, gasping as he reached deeper. Younghyun assumed he has just reached his prostate.

He then began to stroke himself to the same rhythm Jae was fucking himself at, eyes going from watching the angry red cock bounce against his tummy, to the way Jae’s large hand pushed the dildo back and forth inside of himself.

Jae made a noise and pouted like he couldn't reach the places he wished he could, and then began to speak up, sobbing. “I wish someone was h-here to do this for me, to go deep, a-and fast.”

Holy shit. 

If Brian didn't take his hand off his dick to comment, he would have come at the image of himself helping Jae reaching the parts deep inside of him, his tears running down his face and to his neck.

** _bkang: oh, baby boy. you look so cute trying so hard to fuck yourself with your new toy :( i wish i was there to help you, hear your cute little whimpers in person. go a little bit harder for me? i know you can do it. be a good boy._ **

Jae began to fuck himself harder after a few seconds, and Brian felt a heat pulse to his cock. He felt the urge to comment again, so he did. 

** _bkang: fuck, baby. you’re so good for me, for your viewers. you’re doing everything i ask you, like a good boy. you’re so cute when you sob out of pleasure, all fucked out :( i wish i could kiss your tears away, and stroke that cute cock myself. play and tease with your head, baby. _ **

He noticed how dirty his messages were as he clicked send.  _ Maybe _ he had a kink for praising others,  _ maybe _ he had a kink for pet names, and  _ maybe  _ he had a kink for talking dirty, or maybe it was the effect Jae had on him.

Brian wasn't sure, but he didn't care as he hoped Jae was actually reading his comments.

Jae began to tease the head of his cock like his comment had told him to, and shit, maybe he really did see it. Younghyun did the same to himself as well, matching the pace Jae had set for himself. 

He groaned as he watched Jae fuck himself with the dildo and play with his cock all at the same time. “I’m so close,” He sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut, tears rolling down his cheeks as he stroked his cock. He stopped fucking himself, only pushing it deeper at times to press against his sweet spot. 

Younghyun felt himself close to the edge as well.

“I wanted–wanted to show you guys my other new toy, but I wanna  _ cum.”  _ He whined. Goddamnit, he was so precious. Brian wanted to wrap him up in the softest blankets of the world and kiss his cheeks as well as make him cry and cum of pleasure. 

Jae then stared into the camera, knowing now dirty, messy, and fucked out he looked. His eyes were hazy, his hair sticking to his forehead due to sweat. His cheeks were wet and red with tears, the blush down to his chest now. 

Brian was gone. He felt his orgasm wash over him fast and harsh, and it felt like it ended too soon, but he didn't  _ care _ as he watched Jae on his screen.

“Can I  _ please _ cum? Please?” Jae begged his viewers. He was holding onto his cock, thinking it’d hold off his orgasm even though he was wearing a cockring. Though Brian was calming down from his orgasm, he wanted to comment and give Jae permission to cum. 

Jae could show his other toy the next time he went live. Brian can wait. 

To see if Jae actually read his comments, he decided to hold off from commenting for a minute as he calmed down from his orgasm. Jae was looking at the chat, almost like he was waiting for his comment.

** _bkang: you can cum, beautiful. _ **

It was short and to the point, and it must have worked, because Jae slid the cockring off himself and quickly stroked himself before taking his hand off his cock as he came. The fucking  _ noises _ he makes when he cums, Brian wouldn’t mind if those were the last things he heard before he died.

Jae then slumped on his bed, his breathing quick and uneven as he cooled down. Brian noticed a glint in his eyes, and watched as his mood slightly changed.

Fuck. Jae was going into subspace.

He’s had a few submissive partners, and he himself once slipped into subspace, so he knew the signs of when one was slipping, and  _ fuck _ he hated the universe right now because all he wanted to do was help Jae before he had a sub drop.

He only did what he could, though, and that was to comment.

** _bkang: oh my god ;( baby boy. you did so well for us, so well for me. you looked so beautiful and fucked out when you came, you made me cum as well. you’re so beautiful. i know it took a lot out of you, but clean up, okay? tell us goodbye and end the broadcast and clean yourself up. treat yourself to a nice bath._ **

He hoped Jae listened to him as he shakily ended the live. He hoped Jae gave himself a nice bath, wrapped himself up in the fluffiest of blankets and fed himself food as well.

Brian knew that was probably all delusions, and Jae had most likely had a subdrop and barely cleaned himself before crying himself to sleep, and Brian wishes he was there to take care of him in the vulnerable headspace he’s most likely in. 

Instead, he just cleaned himself off before grabbing boxers and slipping them onto his legs. He grimaced as he cleaned off his sticky keyboard, but he didn't really mind as he knew he’d clean a million sticky keyboards just to watch Jae cam again.

After he was finished cleaning, he threw the towel onto the ground, his heart aching in his chest as he thought of Jae in a subdrop while drifting off to sleep.

Little did he know, the universe would soon be on his side. It would just show itself in mysterious ways. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae has had a crazy day: encountering Brian, drinking with Sammy, and a wet dream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so this is all over the place messy and im still not sure why i dislike my writing for this fic so much but >:( hope it makes enough sense for you all to enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> btw this was only skimmed through, so if there's errors, ignore them as usual, i plan on editing the entire fic when finished.
> 
> i also plan on finishing this with 7 chapters, hopefully it'll be smooth all the way through to the end. 
> 
> leave comments and kudos!

When Jae woke up the next morning after camming, he felt awful. He still felt the edges of his subdrop, and overall just  _ sad.  _ He’s always felt sad and lonely after camming, wishing for someone to be here to take care of him, but now he had a face and name for that someone.

_ Brian Kang.  _

The Brian Kang from his English class. The one who looked hot as fuck even wearing sweats. The one who walked confidently down the hallways. The one who was way out of Jae’s league and it probably wasn't him commenting last night.

But, no matter how much he doubted himself and try to hate himself for being delusional, something in him knew it really was Brian.

He didn't even know Brian was into guys. He knew Brian was into girls, having a few flings that were talked about across the campus, but he just assumed the man was straight.

But,  _ fuck _ , last night he was so… so  _ good _ to him, even through the comments of his livestream. It was so little, but Jae felt so affected. He wishes he woke up next to Brian, but he instead woke up alone and sad, just as he felt last night.

But… what if Brian was only on his live to confront him and spread his secret?

Shaking his head, Jae told himself that was crazy.

Jae’s phone buzzed, probably messages about the stupid frat party from last night, but he didn't care. He just plugged in his phone and rubbed his eyes. He debated going back to sleep, but now that he was awake, he knew his body wouldn't go back to sleep.

Sighing in defeat, the tall boy rose from his bed and stretched. His face was dried with tears, so he went to his bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. When he looked in the mirror, he was shocked.

He looked terrible.

_ I mean, no more than normal,  _ he thought to himself. But this morning, he had dark circles under his eyes, his eyes were red and puffy, nose red as well. His skin looked a  _ little  _ better thanks to washing it, but overall, he looked as he felt.

Sad and pitiful. 

Shaking his head, Jae just stripped of his clothes and hopped in the shower. He didn't even flinch when the water was hot and soap got into his eye, making it sing with irritation.

He knew that when he started to eat ‘breakfast’, instant ramen, he needed to snap out of it. Who fucking  _ cares _ that he’s still experiencing his subdrop and that Brian was on his live and had talked so good to him, even though he could potentially be doing this to harm him?  _ Certainly  _ not Park Jaehyung.

_ This is just what comes with what he’s doing _ , he thought to himself bitterly.  _ You let yourself become so  _ slutty _ and  _ needy _ to complete strangers, and when you get attached to one, you stupidly fall into subspace and have trouble getting out. _

Jae didn't even notice he was crying until his tears began to spill into his ramen. He harshly rubbed at his face to get rid of the satly, warm tears, feeling pathetic at how he currently felt. 

_ Maybe if Brian was here— _

No. He shook his head. Don’t think of him. It’s all in your head. You’re so fucking delusional. 

After he ate and had his small breakdown, he looked at his phone and realized the time.  _ Fuck! _ He had planned on going to the library to work on his English paper.

“Kill me.” Jae mumbled to himself as he slipped on his shoes and grabbed his bookbag from the floor. He grabbed his id and keys, along with making sure he has his cell on him, before closing and locking his dorm room door.

He stuffed his keys and id into his pockets before unlocking his phone via fingerprint and deciding to check and reply to all of his messages from the previous night. He looked up occasionally as he walked, praying he won’t run into anyone or  _ anything _ .

From: 

** _big Matty: _ ** _ yooooo!!!!!!! u totally missed out on a cool ass party, bro. so many chicks.  _

_ (10:26 a.m.) _

Jaehyung scoffed. Of course Matthew thought Jae missed out on such a silly thing. And missing the  _ chicks?  _ Who fucking cares, he was  _ gay,  _ for fucks sake!

But nobody knew that.

So, technically, Jae had two things he kept hidden from everyone: he cammed, and he was gay. 

Replying with a  _ fuck off, matt. hope u arent super hungover, classes still run on monday ;) _ to Matt, he proceeded to reply to more of his messages, when something hit him. 

_Fuck._ _Brian Kang knows he cams_.

He wasn't sure why it suddenly clicked into his mind. Probably because he was now in his right mind, not fuzzy and delusional subspace or in the middle of a breakdown.

_ What if he told everyone? What if he shares the link, the videos? What if he outed that he was gay to everyone? _

Rationally, he knew Brian was probably just horny and found him, he  _ was _ a bit popular on one of the better known pornsites, but he was currently  _ not  _ thinking rationally. Quite the opposite, to be exact.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” Jae mumbled to himself in panic. All he needed,  _ all _ he needed was his secrets to be exposed. He wasn't ready for people to know he was gay, him just finding out himself a few years back, and he  _ especially  _ didn’t want anyone to know he cammed.

“Fuck, fuck!” Jae swore, pulling at his hair. His breathing began to grow uneven, it seemed harder to breathe. Part of him hopes he was dying, another part of him hoped he’d be saved from this nightmare he called life.

As if on cue, someone pulled him away from the middle of the hallway and began talking to him, probably asking if he was okay, though he drowning in his ears was so  _ loud _ that he couldn't hear a thing this person was saying.

Jae sobbed and sobbed as he slid down the wall, letting himself be held by the stranger. He hiccuped and got himself choked up a bit. He really wasn't sure what came over him. Yes, he was  _ now  _ realizing his fears of knowing Brian watches his streams, but he spent last night crying along with the previous hour crying, so why did he have so many tears left in him?

He wasn't sure and quite frankly he didn't really care at the moment, but let himself be rocked and talked to by the stranger even if he couldn't really make out what was being spoken to him.

After what seemed to be years, but really only being a few minutes, Jaehyung finally calmed down. His breathing began to even out, and he slightly leaned into the hand that was rubbing circles across his back.

That was, until he looked up and saw who helped him.

_ Brian fucking Kang. _

He quickly got up, pushing Brian off of him, and wiping his hands on his pants. He then rubbed away his tears, and glared at the boy when he began to speak.

“Hey, are you okay–”

“Don’t fucking talk to me. Go away.” Jae told Brian with hostility to his words, and he fucking regret it so much, especially when he watched Brian’s face go from shock, a look of hurt, to anger, but his mouth often moved faster than his brain.

“And I don’t even get a thanks for helping you? What a fucking asshole.” He heard Brian mutter, and he felt his heart break into two and tears pool into his eyes again.

Before the other could tell that he was crying,  _ again,  _ he turned away and quickly walked to the library, wishing he could forget the look of hurt that flashed on Brian’s face at his stupid words.

He worked on his English project the best he could, ignoring the texts of worry his friends sent him after hearing what happened.

Who cares, anyway?

–

Jae didn't even know he fell asleep until a hand was shaking him awake. “Get up. The library is closed now. Go home.” He faintly heard the librarian’s voice tell him.

He inhaled as he rubbed his eyes before stretching. He blinked and took in his surroundings before realizing where he was.

_ What time was it? _

He took his phone out of his pocket and clicked the home button.

_ 9:36 p.m. _

He shot up, almost knocking his chair over. He quickly cleaned up his stuff and zipped his bookbag shut before slinging it onto his shoulder.

The man bowed and mumbled out apologies to the librarian before rushing out and heading back to his dorm.

_ How embarrassing.  _ He thought to himself. 

Twice, today, he’d embarrassed himself. Seriously, what has gotten into him? Jae shook his head before he could dwell on it too much.

When he arrived back at his dorm, he knew he didn't want to spend the night alone, knowing he’d send himself into more of a spiral.

Instead, he ordered pizza, set up his video gaming system, and sent his friend Sam a text.   
  


To:

** _Sam i Am: _ ** _ video games and pizza 2nite? _

_ (9:52 p.m.) _

Jae locked his phone after sending the text. He remembered he had left his  _ toys _ out on his nightstand in room from last night’s activities, so he quickly cleaned them and put them into a box, to which he slid under the bed.

After he was done, he got a text back.

From:

** _Sam i Am: _ ** _ hell yeah. be there in a few :) _

_ (9:58 p.m.) _

He smiled to himself. Jae loved Sammy. In a platonic friend way, of course. Once he did have a crush on Sam, but it was one of those small, flings of feelings you get when you meet someone new and find them attractive.

The more he got to know Sam, he realized he was straight, and that was one reason why Jae’s crush on him went away. 

He flipped through Netflix original films before eventually settling on a random romcom. He then unlocked his phone, exchanging memes with Matthew, before he heard a knock at the door.

He went up and opened the door, a smile painting onto his face when he saw his best friend. “Sammy!” He said, voice full of excitement.

“Jae!” Sam replied with the same amount of enthusiasm, a chuckle drifting at the end. 

“Come in.” Jae moved out of the doorway. “The pizza should be here in a few.”

Sam nodded as he walked into Jae’s dorm living room. “So,” He started, taking a seat on the couch as Jae shut and locked his door. “You gonna tell me what all that was about earlier?”

Jae looked at him, hoping it wouldn't be about the panic attack he had in the hallway and Brian, out of  _ all _ people, being the one to help him. “About what?”

Woosung stared at him. “You know what.” He deadpanned, changing the movie Jae picked out to watch something else. “You know, having a panic attack in the fucking hallway and  _ Brian _ apparently helping you?”

Jae blushed and sat down next to Woosung on the couch. _Play dumb, _his brain told him. “Who’s Brian?” _Not that dumb!_

“Jae.” Sammy said softly. “If you don't wanna talk about it, I get it. I just wanna know what’s going on. You didn't tell me anything and I heard from Brian that you had a panic attack today.”

Jae looked down at his feet, feeling guilty. He didn't mean to keep this from Sam, it’s just … Not that important? He didn't really wanna talk about it, so he told Sam as such.

Luckily, Sammy understand and respected his decision. So, he smiled and promised to get both him and Jae hammered.

Halfway through their first drink, the pizza arrived, and they ate and drank as they watched Netflix. As they drank, they grew more and more drunk.

“Jaeeee,” Sammy groaned. “I gotta–gotta tell you something.” He looked serious, yet his words were slurred.

Jae was confused, but nodded for the other to continue. “You know… there’s someone who has a crush on you. It’s–”

Before Sam could finish, his phone rang. Jae saw that it was Brian. Sammy had a startled look on his face. “Oh, shit! I’m not supposed to say. Forget I said anything. Actually, you–you will. We’re drunk. The end.”

Despite the two men still being drunk, they began to sober up. Who has a crush on Jae? Did  _ Sam _ have a crush on Jae?  _ Oh God _ , he thought to himself. He felt nauseated.

Sammy answered his phone. “Yo. Drunk? Me, drunk? No,  _ you’re  _ drunk. I’m–I’m comin’. Jae, I gotta go. Thanks for hanging out.” Said Sam as he waved goodbye to Jae and stumbled out of his dorm room.

Jae was left confused, drunk, and alone. So he did what he seemed to do best: camming. Though, not live. He decided he’d take some pictures to spoil his supporters. 

He turned off his tv, and prompted himself to the shower. Though he took one this morning, he reeked of beer and pizza. He took his time, wanting to relax and sober up a bit more. 

As he showered, he thought of Brian. He wasn't sure why, but he was drunk, and all sorts of thoughts crossed his mind. He regrets being an asshole to him today, but his feelings were so muddled and confused. 

He swears Brian was messing with him, and he’s going to make sure his secret camming career  _ won’t _ be spilled for the whole school to know. 

He shook his head and sighed, and began to think of a blank fantasy to work himself up for his photoshoot. He felt tired, though, so maybe he’ll decide on a short video, then crash. 

He nodded to himself and proceeded to actually shower.

When he got out, he shivered due to the coldness. He towel dried his hair before settling it on his waist and making his way to his bedroom.

Deciding to ditch his clothes, Jae lay on his bed. He inhaled softly, before taking his hand and stroking himself. He hissed at the friction, bucking his hips up.

He quickly grew hard, most likely because he was still slightly drunk. He toyed with his slit, whining softly. Instead of just jerking off, he decided to take a pillow and straddle it.

He grinded against the pillow, choking up a bit at the friction. Jae repeated the actions, his hands making its way over his mouth to muffle his moans. He slowed his grinding down because he felt  _ so sensitive. _

Quickly grabbing his cell phone, and turning on his lamp, he set up his camera and pressed record. He continued the grinding actions he was previously doing, deciding to play with his nipples as well.

He whined when he pinched the buds particularly hard, his hips bucking. He scratched down his chest, hissing at the slight pain he felt.

Jae began to thrust faster and faster against the pillow, toying with his slit and head before he quickly grew close. He went faster and faster until his orgasm washed over him.

His cum was warm and sticky against his hands, and he was shaking due to how intense his orgasm felt due to being intoxicated. He calmed down before smiling to the camera slightly and clicking the stop button.

He didn't watch the video over before posting it with the caption:  _ late night playtime :) slightly drunk, hope u guys don’t mind. weekly live still planned this friday! _

Once the video was uploaded, he muted his notifications and dressed himself in pajamas; a t-shirt and sweatpants. He decided to scroll through twitter until his eyes grew tired.

He went to bed with Brian on his mind for the second night in a row.

–

_ “C’mon baby, you can do it. You’re my good boy, aren't you?” A voice whispered in his ear as strong arms wrapped around his tummy, one hand stroking his cock. _

_ Brian. _

_ Jae just whined, sinking into the feeling of pleasure the other was giving him. “That’s it, that’s it.” Whispered Brian again, his sultry voice making Jae’s cock jump. _

_ Brian chuckled against Jae’s ear, and Jae swears he would have cum right then and there. “You’re so sexy, Jaehyung. Such a good boy, too. All for me, all mine.” He praised. _

_ Jae only sobbed, his hands squeezing over Brian’s arms. “Please.” He begged, not even sure  _ what _ he was begging for.  _

_ “What’re you asking for, baby?” Brian asked, kissing down Jae’s neck, making the older arch his neck and hitch his breath. _

_ “Don’t know.” Jae confessed. He felt so sinful with Brian behind him, whispering dirty, dirty things in his ear. Brian just smiled and stroked Jae faster and faster, biting his ear and continuing to kiss down his neck. _

_ He also started to grind his own cock against Jae’s backside, making Jae moan and grind back. They moved in rhythm, to a silent beat, just breathing each other in and taking in the moment. _

_ “Cum for me.” Brian commanded him, and he somehow did so. It felt like a white heat was being released, pleasure soaring all through him. _

_ Then he blacked out. _

Jae gasped and sat up, breathing in heavily. He was sweaty and hot, and his pants felt sticky and gross. He grimanced.

Fuck. He literally just had a wet dream about Brian: his English classmate, who knew about his camming, but Jae didn't know what he was going to do with the information, so he decided to act cold. 

Brian: who helped him in the hallway during his panic attack, but he told him to go away and showed no remorse though he felt instant regret.

Brian: who he always felt slightly attracted to, but the attraction grew stronger and stronger into what you could call a ‘crush’ I  _ guess  _ after a day and a half, being all Jae could think about ever since he knew he was watching his videos. 

Brian: who’s name was actually Younghyun, but Jae liked to call him Brian because he felt familiar to home and was the name of the man who was fucking with Jae’s feelings, whether said man knew it or not.

Brian: the man he had a wet dream about.

Jae groaned and shoved a pillow into his face and prompted to yell. So much for forgetting about Brian, even through his sleep.


End file.
